One of the most difficult elements some parents, mothers, families, individuals will go through is having a miscarriage.
Many parent accounts of experiencing a miscarriage recollect the amount of grief they have gone through. Sometimes it may feel like you are completely alone. We want you to know this is not the case.
We hope this article will answer some questions and uncertainty regarding miscarriage, but we don’t expect to answer them all.
Taking the first step to get help can be difficult and it’s important to remember there is no strict time frame one must adhere to. Loss and bereavement looks different for everyone involved or impacted by it.
If you have gone through a miscarraige, or know someone who has, find below six practical things you can do now that may help.
Everyone Goes Through Bereavement Differently
Each pregnancy loss is different and can affect individuals in a myriad of ways. An important point to note is that there is no right or wrong way to feel. A few ways you may feel after a miscarraige:
- Sad and teary
- Confused or shocked
- No feelings at all
- Numb or detached
- Immense grief
You can read more about the emotional impact of miscarrage at Tommy’s.
Organisations Lending Support for Miscarriage / Child Loss
The following organisations can provide help and support during this extremely tough time:
Sands is the number one organisation leading in stillbirth and neonatal death charity in the UK. They provide guidance and support through their dedicated helpline, online app, and diligent community.
The Miscarriage Association is ready and available to assist anyone who has gone through a miscarriage, ecotopic pregnancy, or molar pregnancy. They too have a helpline and online support available for those who need it.
Tommy’s is a charity researching the causes and prevention of premature childbirth and neonatal death. They have opened research facilities across the UK, the first being in 1997 in St Thomas’ Hospital.
Bliss is an organisation supporting babies who have been born premature or sick, but they promote Baby Loss Awareness Week which takes place every year in October. Bliss is one of 60 UK Charities who band together to participate in Baby Loss Awareness Week.
Twins Trust is an organisation dedicated to helping carers or families of twins or triplets who have died during childbirth or after. They publish a number of different resources to help families who have gone through the loss of children.
Established in 1989, the Child Death Helpline is staffed by volunteers (all of them are bereaved parents) offering communication and support for people affected by the death of a child of any age. Their volunteers are all specially trained and you can call free on: 0800 282 986.
The Power of Community
One of the common themes throughout all the organisations listed above, is that they want people and families to know they are not alone.
Maybe talking about it is difficult. In that way, social media can be a great outlet to connect with those who have lost a child in a miscarriage before. You may be surprised by the overwhelming support and encouragement you’ll receive if you decide to share your experience with others.
Practical Things You Can Do
Sometimes we want to all help and chip in, especially to give someone peace of mind, but often we don’t know how. Below are a few quick ways you can get involved to help get support to the right people and ease the burden for individuals and families who are going through or have gone through a miscarriage.
Try Signing A Petition
Signing onto a local campaign and being a part of action and change can be rewarding. Check out this petition to the UK Government to include miscarriage as a focal point in the Women’s Health Strategy this year.
Joining a Conversation Group
During times of loss and bereavement, sometimes simply talking about your experience can help the process.
If you’re unsure of where to begin, try finding a group on:
-Within your local council
Or even start one yourself on WhatsApp or Telegram.
Donating or Volunteering
Any of the organisations mentioned above are great organisations accepting monetary donations. If not monetary donations, try looking at their volunteer positions available to get more involved.
Reaching Out to Your Family and Friends
You never know who has gone through or is currently going through a similar situation as yourself. Speaking to someone who can empathise what you are going through can make processing a little easier.
Getting Professional Assistance
Parents who are in need of specialist psychological support should have access to it. It should be easy to obtain help that is proportionate to the needs of the parents in addition to it being free of charge. Furthermore, help should be at a time that is appropriate for the parents.
You can read more about professional assistance on the Baby Loss Awareness Week website.
Creating a Memorial for Your Baby
This is not for everyone, but sometimes making a memorial can help with grief. Some hospitals can assist you in this process. You may want something tangible regarding what has happened, ask your local hospital if they can provide paperwork.
Assuming pregnancy loss and just “be okay” is unrealistic and we understand that. However, small but continuous actions can make all the world’s difference in making things just a little more manageable. We hope this guide helps you in the process.
If you need to speak to someone, but don’t know where to start, have a look at the organisations listed above. Or you may give us a call at 0808 196 2140 and we can help guide you in the right direction.
We understand that it may take time to initiate a first step, but our dedicated team is on call 24/7 to assist you and answer any questions you have as best they can.